Whole Wheat Beer Bread

When you're growing up, adults like to tell you that the easy way is never the right way. Thinking about it now, I can certainly understand that logic. You want your kids to do their homework and not assume that if they're good, some wealthy childless candy baron will make them the heir to an endless chocolate-based fortune. As lovely a thought as it is, one cannot put all one's hopes on a golden ticket.

But there are many instances in which you realize that shortcuts do boast inherent value. I'm not talking about shortcuts like the unmarked road off the highway that inevitably leads somewhere you don't really want to go. No, I am talking about genuine shortcuts -- the ones that yield the desired result with less time and less effort -- as with derivatives.

The first time students are introduced to derivatives in calculus, they are usually given the lengthy, needlessly complex assignment of doing them by hand. You spend an inordinate amount of time working it out, only to find that the next day, the teacher shows you a trick that gives you the same answer in the fraction of the time it originally required. Are you happy to have learned the trick? Of course. Are you put off that you devoted hours (okay, perhaps only several minutes) of your life to executing something that could have been done much more efficiently? A thousand times, yes!

There are, sadly, very few instances in life in which shortcuts are so tidy. Fortunately for all involved, this recipe for Whole Wheat Beer Bread just happens to be one of them. This loaf will not replace a fancy baguette, nor will it have the complexities of a sourdough boule made from ancient starter. It will, however, provide you with a fresh loaf of homemade bread that is both hearty and tasty, requiring no rising or water of a particular temperature. Slice it thick and toast lightly to best experience the full effect of the bread's density paired with its internal softness. Pull a slice apart with your fingers, take a bite, and feel proud of yourself for not only creating something delicious and amazing (with a fantastically craggy crust), but for sticking it to your high school calculus teacher by going straight to the shortcut.